"Across this country this is the agenda I have set before my fellow prisoners."

"The same standards of clarity and candor must now be applied to my opponent."

Huh?

Political trainwrecks, two versions

Interview with Patricia Harrelson, author of Between Two Women

I met Patricia Harrelson four years ago at the East of Eden Conference. We immediately hit it off but didn't stay in touch much until our paths crossed again recently.

Since then, I've read her new book, Between Two Women: Conversations about Love & Relationship. It's a lyrical, haunting memoir structured, in great part, as a conversation between two lesbians who've led very different lives.

The memoir tells the story of 51-year-old Patricia falling in love with a woman for the first time. The book also illuminnates some very important history of lesbian life in the mid-20th century by exploring the memories of Carol, a lesbian in her 70s. The weaving together of these two stories makes for rich and captivating reading. It's an important book in many ways. And it asks a question of the human condition: what happens to us and those around us when we change?

I asked Patricia a few questions about the book and her life.

Why did you decide to write BETWEEN TWO WOMEN with the focus on "Conversations"? Was this a structure you discovered as you were writing, or did you decide on it in advance?
I definitely discovered the structure as I was writing. I started the work as a long personal essay describing my initial encounter with Carol and an audiotape that she gave me to transcribe. The tape was such an abbreviated account of her life that I asked if we could meet so I could interview her to delve more deeply into the rich story lines. Each time we met, I record our conversations then went home and transcribed the tapes.

Why did you decide to juxtapose your coming-out story with Carol's life story?
When I was transcribing the tapes, I found that my own story kept getting tangled with hers. I began to realize the degree to which I was trying to make sense of the monumental change in my life by exploring the story of her life. In a way, the memoir arose from trying to transcribe her oral history.


In the book, you refer to many different writers who have influenced you. How important was literature to your coming-out process, and why?
My first inclination when faced with ANY question is to turn to books and that is exactly what I did when I fell in love with Cindy. I think reading writers like Adrienne Rich, Dorothy Allison, Eloise Klein Healy, Audre Lorde and Esther Newton gave me a framework for understanding my experience and the coming out process. I felt both awed by their voices and grateful for the words they'd committed to the page. I'd say literature was a critical component in understanding the magnitude of the step I'd taken and gave me firm ground upon which to stand.


Have you met many other women who have come out at age 50 or beyond? How do you think that experience differs from someone who comes out earlier in life?
Surprisingly, at the same time as I fell in love with Cindy, there were three other women in my community who were over 50 who left marriages to live with women lovers. That's four women in a small rural community which seems significant to me. I was casually acquaintanted with each of these women, two of whom I have since come to know better. In discussing our "coming out," it seems to me that our experiences are more similar to one another than they are to women who came out earlier in life. However, I don't believe I could give a quick, clear, or definitive response regarding how the difference in timing compares though I do attempt to explore those differences in my conversations with Carol.

Do you still see Carol regularly? How is she doing?
Carol, who is now 78, still lives alone. I call her every three or four days and visit her about once a week. Along with advancing age, she is dealing with diabetes and peripheral neuropathy, but she gets a lot of help from three of her former lovers who live nearby and from her huge network of friends. She continues to go to a fitness class twice a week and she enjoys promoting the book and calling me with orders for more copies.

Has your relationship with your ex-husband and children changed in any way since the end of the story in the book?
My ex-husband and I continue to see each other regularly. We parent and grandparent as a unit when the occasion demands and have a yearly coffee date on the anniversary of our separation. He has remarried, and his new wife and I have developed a warm friendship. I also have a terrific relationship with one son and his wife. Two of my kids share a significant ideological (religious) difference regarding my relationship with Cindy. However, we have come to a reasonably comfortable place of interaction. We basically have agreed to disagree and we tiptoe around the issue very carefully. I don't know if those differences will be resolved in my life time, but I wanted my perspective available for my grandkids should they ever want to know, and I think the book accomplishes this.


How did your ex-husband and children react to the book? Did you share parts of it with them as you wrote, or did you spring it on them at the end--and why?
I did not share parts of the book with my family as I wrote it. They knew I was writing a book, but it was not something we talked about. With two of the kids it, the topic was something steered away from in general. I offered the manuscript to my husband when it was completed, but he said he'd wait until it was a book. Since the publication, he and his wife have read the book and our discussions have been nothing short of remarkable—confirming and insightful. My children have NOT read the book, though one of my sons helped finance the publication and came to the book launch. His wife is mentioned in the acknowledgements as one of the readers of a late version of the manuscript.


How did your partner Cindy react to the book? Did you share parts of it with her as you wrote, or did you spring it on her at the end--and why?
Cindy was audience for every single word I wrote. I read sections and chapters aloud to her as I worked and revised. When I felt I had a final draft, I read the whole book to her. She is a very fine critic—encouraging, insightful, and sensitive. I trusted her instincts about many issues I faced during the writing. There were parts of the book that felt scary to her in terms of the degree of self-disclosure. We talked at length about this and she helped me make decisions about what to include and what not to include.


What are you working on now?
When I retired from teaching, I started a freelance writing business which has taken a lot of my writing energy. In addition to writing for several local businesses (newsletters, fundraising letters, web content) and two online educational sites, I write theater reviews for the local newspaper. I just started ghostwriting a non-fiction book on modern women inventors for a woman who did some fantastic research but doesn't have time to pull the book together. And I have another memoir/oral history project in the works, collecting the stories of local family practice doctor who recently retired. He was the doctor who delivered all of my babies and most of my children's babies and attended my parents' death beds. His kind of doctoring is fast fading and I think his is a story that needs telling in the midst of the current health care crisis.

Is there anything else you'd like to say?
I want to thank you Kate for your encouragement and support as a lesbian writer and teacher. You appeared at the perfect moment in my life and I was simply astounded by your generosity of spirit and good will.

Listen to Patricia this Thursday, October 9, on Woman-Stirred Radio.

Tina Fey for VP (on the Queen Latifah ticket!)

Atlanta Queer Lit Fest Ready to Make History

From AQLF (Atlanta, GA, 10/01/08)--

"The 2nd Annual Atlanta Queer Literary Festival will be held October 15-18, 2008. The event--one of only two queer-specific literary festivals in the nation, both of which are in the South--will feature readings, workshops, signings and theatre by gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer and questioning authors, poets, playwrights and related artists. Confirmed participants this year include Kate Bornstein, Mark Doty, Kate Evans, Daphne Gottlieb, Ed Madden, Dan Vera, Blair, and Alex Sanchez. The festival's main venues are Charis Books & More, OutWrite Books, The Atlanta-Fulton County Central Library, the Ponce de Leon Branch Library and EyeDrum.

Also new this year is the festival’s affiliation with the internationally renowned Larry Corse Prize for Playwriting, including a four-night run of the winning comedy, Skin Deep, written by Rich Orloff and directed by Larry Corse. Out of 150 submissions from eleven nations, Orloff won the $1,000 prize for a play about a straight Ohio couple that inherits a clothing-optional resort in Key West from their gay son. A visit by the couple to claim the place turns worlds upside down. The play will be staged at the First Existentialist Congregation of Atlanta.

All events are open to the public, and all events are free with the exception of $10 tickets to the play, Skin Deep. Please find the complete schedule up on the festival website, and on the second page of this press release.

There is only one other festival in the U.S. dedicated specifically to advancing the work of queer writers--The Saints and Sinners Literary Festival in New Orleans. The festival organizers have learned a lot from that Deep South neighbor and are returning to their own festival preparations with bolder ambitions for this second year, including a broad range of invitations to nationally recognized and award-winning writers with a strong emphasis on the diversity of participants. Atlanta has an opportunity to be the flagship for queer literature in the U.S., and the festival board is proud to serve their community by ushering in a new era in the literary life of the city.

In addition to the venues listed above, festival sponsors include: Emory University, PD Publishing, The Paideia School, The Galloway School, and Southern Voice."

Check out the complete schedule here.

I just can't bring myself to blog about the VP debate...

...but if you have strong feelings about it, feel free to leave a comment.

*

Check out what Dustin Brookshire is up to: changing the world for queer young writers.

The road through rejection to, one hopes, publication

Literary Rejections on display by "Writer, Rejected" is one of the most astute, funny blogs out there. I was jazzed with W,R invited me to talk about the publication of my book after a series of rejections and bad turns. It's posted on the site today.

It has arrived! And so have my cojones ... I mean ovarios.

I'm holding my new book!!!

Amazing how I can type at the same time, huh?

It is now very real to me that For the May Queen is out in the world. And wow, it looks great! Vanilla Heart Publishing puts out a quality product. The fonts are like buttah, and the book feels great in my hand.

Annie and I were on campus late last night and when we walked in the door, this:

was on the table. Annie had snuck home during the day and bought me a congratulatory bouquet. I felt celebrated and very, very lucky.

Speaking of my sweetie, today I was at the grocery store filling up our water bottles.

A guy approached me and said: "Is it that water that keeps you so beautiful?"

I laughed and said, "Oh, must be."

Him: "I saw you from over there and wondered who that beautiful blonde was."

Me: "Well that's very nice of you. I'll take the compliment."

Him: "Does your husband drink this water too?" (That's right up there as one of the worst pick-up lines of all time.)

Me: "I don't have a husband." Dramatic pause. "I have a wife." (That's the first time I've used that word to a stranger to describe Annie. I usually say "partner" ... or that I'm a "lesbian." I realized there was a certain power to saying "wife." Perhaps it gave him less of a fetish image to feed from than "I'm a lesbian" might.)

Him: "Huh?"

Me: *smile*

Him: "You're kidding me, right?"

Me: "No. Really. We've been together 14 years and we just got legally married."

Him: "When?"

Me: "July."

Him: "Wow. Okay. Well, you just can't tell anymore who's gay."

Me: "So true."

Him: "Well. Ah. Hm. You can't even tell with guys anymore."

Me: "I know!"

Him: "Okay, well, good luck on your marrage."

Me: "Thanks!"

Presidential debate in 1 minute

Say "Barack," John, say it!

From Ellen Bass

Wedding Song

Now let fear go out singing, the silver gate unlatched.

Now let the past tear loose from the branches, scarlet leaves flying.

Send the bridesmaids out at dawn

to sprinkle gold dust on the spider webs.

Let the oysters float on their briny thrones.

Drink them down with a toast to the goddess of luck.

May the wine plunge through your veins

and swim to all the heart's giddy chambers.

You are making a home for the pilgrim to rest,

architecture of skin and bone.

Raise the rafters. Drill the well. Each room

is a lung you fill with your breath.

Let love grow wild, insist on itself.

Let it be relentless, a weed with ghost white roots.

Joy be welcome. Enter at midnight.

Shine on these lovers braided and oiled.

Sorrow be welcome. Sit at the table.

Lay down your helmet. Lay down your head.

May the hinge of this day open like wings.

May night enfold you in its great black plumage.

--Ellen Bass

Friends and Writers,

I don't normally send out political mailings because we all have too much email flooding our mailboxes, but the right to marry affects me very personally so I am asking for your help.

In my own life I've experienced the devastating effects of homophobia. I didn't come out a a lesbian until I was 35 so I had years of life experience and could withstand any discrimination, judgments, or hatred directed at me. But my children were vulnerable and suffered in ways that were heartbreaking.

I know that extending the right to marry to gays and lesbians won't end all discrimination and pain for gays and lesbians and their families, but I am sure that it is a crucial step. I believe that if the right to marry is extended to gays and lesbians that we will save lives--gay youth will be able to visualize a healthy, loving future for themselves. We will support the children in gay and lesbian families. And we will afford respect to gay and lesbian couples.

My partner, Janet Bryer, and I have been together for 25 years, through raising children, through good times and bad, through sickness and health. It's still hard for me to comprehend how some people assume they have the right to regulate other people's hearts. But right now the polls say that voters are about equally split on this issue. And the anti-gay forces are pouring money into it. No On 8, the campaign to defeat the ban on marriage, is in serious need of funds. For many of us, the bulk of our efforts--both monetary and time--are going into the presidential election. This is certainly true for me. But if we all make even a small donation to the No on 8 campaign, it will add up to a significant contribution.

Whether you are gay or not, whether you live in California or not, whether you even believe in the institution of marriage or not, this is a critical time to defend equality for all people.

To contribute online, please go to Equality California.

Or send a check to:
NO on 8 – Equality California
Attn: Leanne Pittsford
2370 Market St, 2nd Floor
San Francisco, CA 94114

Thanks for your help. If each person who receives this email sends $25, that would be over $50,000! If you don't have $25, please send $10 or $5. And of course if you can send $50 or $100 or more, that would be terrific.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Thank you for making a contribution. Thank you for your integrity and your support.--Ellen

Annie posted another new poem...

...go over and give her some love.

And it's lift-off!

My novel, For the May Queen, is now officially launched!

This book was my baby for so long it feels weird (and wonderful) to have it out in the world for other people to experience. If you read it, I'd love to hear what you think. If you have a Bay Area book group who wants to read it, I'm happy to visit as a guest.

To read about it, look at the blurbs on the left, or click here and here and here for more.

You can go to your local bookstore to buy it. If it's not on the shelves, any bookstore can order it.

You can also purchase it through Vanilla Heart Publishing and on Amazon.

Keep an eye on my blog for annoucements of Bay Area parties and readings, as well as a Book Party in L.A.!