Saturday, July 18, 2009

phoenix in the house

I feel like a woman who was hit by a truck and had a near-death experience--and now all I want to do is live! This is manifesting as a desire to do all kinds of new things. In the past month I've had a number of firsts: first rounds of golf, first time to the horse races, first time to a boxing match. At each one I realized that so much skill is involved. I have a new, growing appreciation for the abilities of the human body.

And I also have a growing appreciation for fun! I have so many loving friends who've been inviting me (the single gal!) to join them for the activities I've described above, as well as meals, swimming pool & wine afternoons ... And this isn't just about fun, but it's about human connection. I'm coming out of the cave of grief and into the light of celebration of life.

I'm also feeling the desire to write again. It's been a few months since I've had the focus or drive to write, but I can feel stories and poems swimming in my veins.

As my friend Sally said, life is amazing; it wants to live.

Here are a few words from Walt Whitman on that score:

O LIVING always—always dying!
O the burials of me, past and present!
O me, while I stride ahead, material, visible, imperious as ever!
O me, what I was for years, now dead, (I lament not—I am content;)
O to disengage myself from those corpses of me, which I turn and look at, where I cast them!
To pass on, (O living! always living!) and leave the corpses behind!

11 comments:

Chelle Cordero said...

great post

Anonymous said...

I love your line, "I can feel stories and poems swimming in my veins..."

I also like what your friend Sally says: life ... wants to live.

A very inspiring post from start to finish.

Holli said...

Its nice to hear you are feeling better... :)

W. Latane Barton said...

I'm happy I have found your blog. I hope to very soon take the time to read a lot of the back postings. My husband is in a memory unit in an asst. living residence. I know that reading about your mom and the trials that you two have will help me to cope.

Collin Kelley said...

Great post, Kate. Keep on living your life and finding the poetry. xo

Ma said...

Kathleen--Indeed, life does want to live. Lucky for us. And lucky for life that it has in you such a vibrant soul. Take care of yourself.-Jennifer

khonmanrak said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Violetwrites said...

oh really single again huh?
I agree - have you seen the latest woody allen film, whatever works?
I think that's the answer. Life is so short that whatever works at the moment is what we need to do at the moment.
and good for you - come out and celebrate indeed!

Percy Bisque Silley said...

O LIVING always—always … Always!!!
O me O my while I stride ahead,
Material, visible, Precious as ever!
O me, me, me, Me! Never dead, in Modesty!
O to engage myself, to marry me!
Yet I should die if I refused myself;
Come then; I shall hold my hand
And ask Me tenderly …

Jo A. T.B. said...

Miss seeing your posts, hope you're doing ok! Take care, Jo

KATE EVANS said...

Thanks Jo...It's funny, I was just planning to do another one today so check back in soon!