The Goddess Tour

I write this from an upstairs loft in a home in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. This is our last stop on a three-city visit to the mainland. We wanted to get to know Mexico better by spending a month in Mazatlan, a week in Guanajuato, and six weeks here. Housesitting has made this type of adventure possible.

In my next blog, I will write about my impressions. But first I'll back up and share how, before we flew to the mainland, we did a "staycation" sit in Baja at Los Barriles, a community on the Sea of Cortez, 90 minutes from our house at Cerritos.

Ready to go!

These three cuties are Sunny, Happy & Colorado. Each morning they'd jump into the fat-tired golf cart for a 5-minute ride to the beach. The water was so calm and warm, I'd also often a swim.

The mermaid doing a ballet leg in the Sea of Cortez

We also cared for Roberto, the tortoise, who lived in the bedroom closet and would wander out each day. I'd take him outside for a big plate of fresh fruits and veggies. And that's not all: there were three outdoor cats to care for (and feed raw food, a gross process that involved pulling apart and deboning by hand a bunch of butcher trimmings and entrails. Thank god Dave dealt with it because the process made me gag). 

Roberto

We normally don't take sits that involve so many pets, but being that this was close to home and in a great location for two weeks, we decided to jump in. We're glad we did because the beachy community was fun to explore in any of the three offroad vehicles.

A few weeks later, we flew to California for another housesit for two weeks so we could attend my sister Crystal's wedding. Housesitting came to the rescue again as we had a beautiful home to stay in that whole time, up the street from our friends Shannon and Tony in Solana Beach.

This rascal ate one of my shoes.

One of the dogs was barely a year old--cute as a bug and just about as pesky. We took a lot of walks through the hilly neighborhood and down to the beach. 

The homeowners let us use their car, which came in handy when I needed to drive south about 30 minutes for the wedding rehearsal. As the officiant, my attendance was crucial. The wedding the next day was perfection. I couldn't have been happier for my sister--and to welcome Kristian into our family. We all took a ferry from downtown San Diego to Cornado for vows on the beach followed by two days of parties. 

Crystal & Kristian with their four kids.

A few days later, Dave headed back to Baja while I embarked on a self-made book tour--which he coined the Goddess Tour, since it featured a coven of remarkable women. I'd planned stops to visit friends all along the way, using flight credits that were about to expire.

The first event filled Shannon's north county San Diego home with energized people and an elaborate display of food, including cookies the color of the book's cover! After I spoke and read a few pages, one person asked: "How did you talk your husband into living a traveling life?" Truth is, I didn't have to convince him of anything. Our nomadic desires bloomed simultaneously. Pure luck, because when we first met, we were both working long hours. I couldn't have imagined the life we live now.

with Shannon and turquoise cookies

Next stop was San Jose, California, where I expected to pick up my box of books from Mark's house to take to Santa Cruz for my public reading. But...no box. The following day I had resigned myself to a book-less event when I received a call from Mark that the box had arrived. San Jose is at least 45 minutes away, and often longer when dealing with perilous Highway 17--so I thanked him but said he didn't need to come. However, minutes before we were to start, my savior walked through the door. 

Extra special delivery!

Another sweet moment involving that door was when four shiny people I'd met at a transformative retreat in Baja surprised me with their appearance. Can you tell how happy we are to be reunited?

Alex, Mike, Lisa, me & Julia--all aglow

Gratefully, we had a full house at the downtown public library for "Three Memoirs & Music." I'd put out a call on a memoir writers' online group, and Dena Moes & Andrea Ross--who also have connections to Santa Cruz--jumped in. As did my friend Sweeney's fantastic musical duo, Winterlark. 

The happy memoirists

My short time in the Bay Area included spending time with friends old and new--the former being this beloved crew:

Memorable times with my beloved Stacey, Kelly & Terry and their son.

--and the latter being Carla King who is also a traveling writer. Unlike me, though, she is mechanically inclined, as made clear in her wonderful motorcycle adventures memoir. She also teaches people how to self-publish.

The two traveling memoirists in Santa Cruz

An aside: I was introduced to Carla by my longtime amiga Cathy Miller. We recently co-authored a piece about working together on our books. Check it out here:

Cathy was indispensable in my writing of Wanderland

Next I flew to Tuscon, where Dana Killion--whom I'd connected with in the aforementioned online memoirist's group--had generously invited me (a stranger!) to stay a few days. She also recently released a memoir and hosted a book event in her gorgeous home, along with Taymar Pixleysmith, whom I'd met earlier in the year at the Todos Santos Writers Workshop.

with Dana and Taymar

Tucson apparently is some kind of vortex that attracts amazing women because my friend Kate Stern happened to be in town as well. One day to escape the heat, Taymar took us on a divine mountain hike.

Rose Lake in the Santa Catalina Mountains

Soon I arrived in Ashland, Oregon, where I was thrilled to hang out with my amiga Laurie in her new home and the town she loves. It was a joy-filled time, packed with theater and friends and wine-tasting and a weekend camping trip! Not to mention a book gathering at her house, and a talk-and-signing at downtown Bloomsbury Books. 

Talking about our wacky traveling life.

Magically, Barbara Kent--a longtime friend of my parents who makes an appearance in Wanderland--materialized in the bookstore! I was grateful she drove all the way up from Northern California, because as I say in the book, I love being around people who knew my parents.

With Barbara Kent

With Laurie & Tammy seeing the phenomenal Kinky Boots

Christening myself in the breath-taking (literally)
Rogue River on the camping trip 

For my last stop, I flew south to L.A. to spend a few days with my longtime friend Nancy, who pops up on many pages in Wanderland. I was glad that my L.A. book event never panned out because at this point in the whirlwind, my body wanted to slow down. We did a lot of hanging out and talking, our specialty. One day we went to the movies, hopping on the Barbie bandwagon (a fitting culmination of my Goddess Tour). 

Gort was in on the Barbie trend, too.

Another day had to be devoted to art, of course, since that's Nancy's love language. With her friend the playwright Jiggs Burgess and the novelist Janet Fitch (whom I'd met at the Todos Santos Writers Workshop), we lingered over multitudinous art at The Hammer and imbibed the quirky art collection at a private home & garden. 

Love me some artists & writers

By the way, if you have not yet read Janet's Russian Revolution "Marina" novels, do so immediately! We must have been talking about writing during our post-art lunch because our waiter asked us about our books. Oh, to stumble across a voracious appreciative reader. What a treat. Later he sent me this picture he took:

A reader's/my toes

I love that some men have been getting into the delightful Wanderland-toes-pics...which I have been receiving from readers. My publisher created this fun collage:

Many of these readers were traveling at the time!

When I finally landed back in Baja after a month, it felt delicious to see Dave. We'd never spent that much time apart. 

Writing this, I'm struck by the fortune of my life. Of course like everyone I've had my share of loss and pain--but at this moment I feel like those struggles are eclipsed by collaboration, friendship, and love. 

* *  *

PS: If you enjoyed Wanderland, I'll give you heart emojis for life if you'll review it on Amazon, B&N, and/or Goodreads. Reviews can be short & dulce :), such as these:

"This book will blast you off your recliner." 

"Wildly moving and poignant." 

"So well written. The details are delicious."

PSS: If you'd like a loving, supportive boost for your own creative life, come to Mexico in April 2024 for my co-hosted retreat: Re-Imagining Writing. There are only 3 single rooms remaining, and prices go up January 1, so save your space here. Consider coming with a friend to stay in a huge, luxurious 1100 SF apartment-room--and to share this inspiring, rejuvenating respite.

Beach front Prana del Mar,
where the retreat magic will happen!

Two Months in California

Hiking Wilder in Santa Cruz, one of California's many gifts.

After three restful months in Hawaii, we kicked off our California travels in the Bay Area.

San Jose

We spent a couple of weeks with Mark, whose place is a kind of California home base for us, always comfy and inviting. We had fun watching the Olympics together and did our usual Jeopardy binge, enjoying Matt Amodio's brilliance. Also, the guys went to a Giants game and watched them beat Houston. What a great season it's been.

Mark, Dave & Steve at Oracle Park

Beautiful day at McCovey Cove

Fortune smiled on us in the gathering of family nearby, even though most of them don't live in the Bay Area anymore. They were meeting up to celebrate my niece Jenna's start of college at Indiana University, and to wish my other niece Hailey best of luck upon her return to University of Tennessee, Knoxville. My nephew Evan was also there, as were my sister Crystal and her boyfriend Kristian who now live in San Diego. 

the clan

We did some hiking at Alum Rock Park in San Jose, and took a day trip to our old hometown, Santa Cruz, for a delicious walk along West Cliff. Little did we know we'd be back in Santa Cruz shortly.

Monterey 

We were happy to score a two-week housesit in Monterey, taking care of two cute little pups. The house looked out over the ocean, so every day we walked the short path to this beach. 

Dave with Jack and Mario

The owner let us use her e-bikes, which we cruised along the inviting path that goes through town and along the coast. We've ridden e-bike a few times now, and the technology just keeps getting better and better. 

The Monterey Bay is a national marine sanctuary, alive with sea creatures. Our friends Kelly, Terry and Laurie came down for whale watching and lunch at Dust Bowl Brewing, an outdoor place with great beers and a taco truck. (And yes they offered vegan tacos!)

We also met Daisy and Tung for lunch at the iconic all-vegan Mexican place, El Cantaro I was thrilled to finally get to meet Danni and to see Luc again before he's as tall as his daddy! I love this family so much. 

Lunch with Daisy, Tung, Danni & Luc

One day Mark came down, and he and Dave went to a car show, as it was Monterey Car Week. (We caught glimpses of cool cars all over town.)

One afternoon we headed to nearby Pacific Grove to meet with my former colleague, Susan, and her husband Gilly. After an invigorating walk through the Pebble Beach dunes to the beach near Spanish Bay, we hung out in their back yard, talking about stuff we love: the ocean, the outdoors, travel, books. 

Dune walk to the beach

Berkeley

Next we headed to another housesit in the Berkeley Hills in a charming neighborhood with steep, winding streets. We fell in love with Billie, an energetic yet well-trained sweet Rottie who enjoyed chasing her ball at the nearby park.

Billie digs her toys

The meetups continued. Dave, a Cal alumni, spent time with two old fraternity friends. And my former colleague Persis invited us to her sweet home and made us a delectable dinner. 

A joy to spend time with Persis.

One day I drove up to the Sonoma coast to meet the delightful powerhouse April Hirschman and chat on her podcast about memoir, bisexuality, self-love and wanderlust (listen here). 

Can you tell we had fun?!

We had a gap of a few days in our itinerary, when my friend Stacey invited us to come stay at her home in the Santa Cruz mountains. So we loaded up all our stuff (did I mention our car is jam-packed with things to handle warm and cold weather and months on the road?)--and minutes from the house, all the dash lights started flashing on Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, our 10-year-old Subaru.

All the dash lights.

It was a Friday afternoon. 

We had a three hour drive ahead of us.

We found an open garage where the doom-and-gloom mechanic claimed Subarus suck and we'd probably need a completely new transmission that would take an armload of cash and a long time to fix.

The idea of hauling all of our stuff to a hotel room and waiting who-knew-how-many-days to get the car back on the road sounded as inviting as an ice pick to the eyeball. Dave pointed out the car was driving fine. It would...probably...make it. And if we waited any longer, traffic would be hell. 

As Dave drove the winding back roads, I called the Subaru dealer in Santa Cruz and made an appointment for Monday. When we pulled into Stacey's driveway, I exhaled, realizing I'd held my breath most of the long drive.

Santa Cruz Mountains

Stacey's gorgeous house nearly burnt down in last year's fire. But fortunately it still stands, and there's evidence everywhere of new growth around the singed redwoods. It reminded me of a poem Stacey one wrote that witnessed my rebirth after a horrible divorce. It includes the lines, "blackened rubble ... / old decay / now new food / for interminable roots."

new growth

It was sweet to spend some time with her and her twin sons who are now in college. We took a walk at Wilder State Park along the bluffs, past a herd of harbor seals. We had an incredible sushi dinner in Scott's Valley.

In the midst of all this, the dealer said our car wouldn't be ready until Friday. We had to drive three hours on Thursday to get to our central coast housesit. Dave was resigned that the next day he'd have to drive six hours round trip to return the loaner and retrieve our car. But miraculously, our car was ready early. Santa Cruz has always been good to us.

Santa Maria

Next up was a housesit in Santa Maria, a city of 100,000+ a bit inland from the Central Coast. We spent a day with Andrea, the homeowner, and enjoyed a meal together hearing about her interesting life. I was especially intrigued by the fact that she'd trekked the Camino twice in her sixties. The first time she did 500 miles, a month of walking. 

Simon, our roommate at Andrea's house

That night we curled up on her couch with wineglasses in hand and watched Martin Sheen walk the Camino in The Way, a movie new to Dave and me but one Andrea has seen many times. What a cool thing housesitting is, that a stranger invites us into the intimacy of her home and becomes an instant friend. 

I could have stayed in that area a month or longer, there was so much to do and see. One day we rented bikes in Avila and rode the Bob Jones Trail. 

scenic

Great Blue Heron at Avila Beach

On the Oso Flaco hike along the boardwalk, we saw fish jumping in the lake, and birds swooping around. From the dunes, we gazed out to the ocean. Also spectacular was driving through Guadalupe Dunes Preserve, impressive dunes that are protected nesting areas for plovers. We ended up at a vast, beautiful beach where humpback whales were frolicking in the distance.

with Laurie at Oso Flaco

It just so happened that Laurie was staying in an Airbnb for a month in nearby San Luis Obispo. Having recently sold her home, she had now joined our nomadic tribe--although she fell in love with the area and may end up planting roots there. We hiked together and went wine tasting. We also spent a day wandering around the sweet downtown of SLO and had lunch at super yummy Bliss Cafe.

with Jill at Leticia Winery

And we got to meet up with Jill, the cousin of Dave's beloved long-time friend Mark who died recently. As we communed in this lovely spot, his energy was with us.

L.A.

Our last California stop was L.A., to spend two nights with my longtime friend Nancy and her husband Andy. We made the plan to get there while her art show, "Family Reunion," was up at bG Gallery in Santa Monica. 

the artist with one of her creations

I'd been talking to her for months and watching her progress on social media as she made sculptures and paintings--and as she sorted through family stories and photographs. The show's stunning centerpiece is "Roots," 256 individuals that illustrate the mind-blowing number of people required over only eight generations to make YOU.

Nancy with Roots

close-up of Roots

The other art pieces and paintings in the exhibition all resonate with ideas of family, ancestry and the biology of becoming. 

While Nancy and I were having lunch and gallery hopping, Andy and Dave were on a quest to buy Dave a new camera. With the stock of everything low due to the pandemic madness, they drove hours all over L.A. It's a long story...and was a long day...but they finally scored one. And that is the kind of thing friends do for each other.

That is what this time in California turned out to be mostly about: spending time with people we love. I'd thought being nomadic would mean seeing our friends and family less. 

But it has turned out that when we're in town, we're not under the illusion that we can meet next week for lunch. We grab the time now...because now is all we have.

Dave and me hiking, photo by Laurie

Holiday Living

Playa de San Pedrito, my favorite walking spot

We have landed back at our casita in Baja California Sur, Mexico after six months away. Friends here ask, "How was your vacation?" They see us as having come back home. It feels more and more that way to me, too.

Yet "vacation" is such an odd word. We don't vacation, we live a traveling life. Life-as-vacation has a nice ring to it. If life is short, why not make it a holiday? The word "holiday" comes from "holy day." So perhaps living with a vacation mindset--alive, fresh, and new--makes every day holy.

I started thinking about life in this way years ago, when I was still teaching. My New Year's resolution seven years ago was to do something new every day. New route, new conversation, new food, new book, new teaching approach...anything big or small, didn't matter. When you travel, everything is new. So living that way in my own town made me feel like I was on vacation. I now see that experiment as a seed planted that blossomed into this very life Dave and I live today.

Not to say it's all-paradise-all-the-time. No matter how you live life, there are bumps in the road. But when you're living how you really want to, the bumps can be easier to navigate. We had both been struggling a bit our last few weeks in Australia--getting over colds and dealing with bizarre weather like hot wind that set my skin on edge--that landing in California felt extra sweet.

Each time we come through California we face an ever-dwindling but persistent pile of things at our friend Mark's house. Dave decided it was finally the moment to divest himself of all of his Silicon Valley work clothes. He donated them to a men's shelter, which will use them when they send men out on job interviews. One man's ending, another's beginning. 

And then there were our beloved bikes that we'd ridden many miles along the ocean cliffs in Santa Cruz, and taken on a ski lift in Big Bear to ride down the fire roads, and ridden up a mountain in Zion National Park to watch the sunrise, and cruised around Portland. These were not the right bikes for Baja...so what to do with them? That thought was on our mind when we went to visit our friends Debbianne and Tony, who happened to mention they wanted to buy bikes for the great trails of their new hometown. Dave and I looked at each other and blurted out, "We have bikes for you!" I love knowing our lives are entwined through those bikes.

Hanging out with Debbie and Tony in Monterey

This was part of a flow of giving and receiving: When a friend discovered we were renting a car, she loaned us her extra one. We gave our snow tires to a stranger. An old friend gave us free passes to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. I gave a friend feedback on his poems. And another invited me to a concert because she had an extra ticket. This movement feels like breathing, like waves. It seems related to all the strangers who let us stay in their beautiful homes in exchange for caring for their pets. In fact, we did a housesit in the Bay Area, in Walnut Creek where we enjoyed a darling golden retriever (and I got a lot of editing work done).

Button and Jasper

Turned out, around this time our first great-niece was being christened, so we were able to meet her and hang out with Dave's family. 

Dave, brother Milt, Milt's son James (holding Madeline), sister Sue

And then, at the housesit, we found a book about the history of the area. We opened it up to a page that featured Dave's great-grandfather! 

For years Dave had told me that his ancestors co-founded a Bay Area town, which by toss of a coin was named Clayton rather than Rhinesville. So we drove over there and walked into the museum. The place was filled with people chatting, holding tea cups, and snacking on cookies. Turned out an event was going on called the Camelia Tea. When Dave revealed his last name, people went crazy like he was a celebrity. The beautiful old home is filled with pictures and artifacts of his ancestors. It's mind-blowing to think how his family coming from Germany (among the first Jewish settlers in the area) led to a moment where we held his great-niece in our arms.

We also spent time with my family and were able to celebrate my niece Hailey's 18th birthday at a restaurant in Pleasanton. After our meal, she hopped onto a red-eye to NYC, where she hung out with friends she'd met last summer in Bali (where she'd traveled and done community service). Yes, my niece has a desire to see the world, too, and I couldn't be prouder of what a wonderful human being she is.

Evan (20), sister Crystal, Hailey (18), auntie Kate, Jenna  (16)

And lucky us, we got to care for a furry family member, my sister's dog Coco, for a week. I mean, really, she's as adorable as they get. 

Coco came with me to visit my friend Candice and her dog Darcy.

And then there are friends that feel like family...many of whom we were blessed to see.

Tung, Luc & Daisy. 

Mark, Jackie & Todd

Paul, in town for work, came by.

I also got some power-women time, including a hike, concert, dancing, meals, and attending my friend Laurie's spiritual center to listen to her sing in the choir.

In Santa Cruz with Stacey & Laurie & Junebug

That's another thing about this lifestyle: We don't stay in one place so we can't take for granted our time there. Our connections with people, our explorations, are all imbued with a sense of the reality of passing time. The holiday of life.

Yes, these are holy days.