The Goddess Tour

I write this from an upstairs loft in a home in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. This is our last stop on a three-city visit to the mainland. We wanted to get to know Mexico better by spending a month in Mazatlan, a week in Guanajuato, and six weeks here. Housesitting has made this type of adventure possible.

In my next blog, I will write about my impressions. But first I'll back up and share how, before we flew to the mainland, we did a "staycation" sit in Baja at Los Barriles, a community on the Sea of Cortez, 90 minutes from our house at Cerritos.

Ready to go!

These three cuties are Sunny, Happy & Colorado. Each morning they'd jump into the fat-tired golf cart for a 5-minute ride to the beach. The water was so calm and warm, I'd also often a swim.

The mermaid doing a ballet leg in the Sea of Cortez

We also cared for Roberto, the tortoise, who lived in the bedroom closet and would wander out each day. I'd take him outside for a big plate of fresh fruits and veggies. And that's not all: there were three outdoor cats to care for (and feed raw food, a gross process that involved pulling apart and deboning by hand a bunch of butcher trimmings and entrails. Thank god Dave dealt with it because the process made me gag). 

Roberto

We normally don't take sits that involve so many pets, but being that this was close to home and in a great location for two weeks, we decided to jump in. We're glad we did because the beachy community was fun to explore in any of the three offroad vehicles.

A few weeks later, we flew to California for another housesit for two weeks so we could attend my sister Crystal's wedding. Housesitting came to the rescue again as we had a beautiful home to stay in that whole time, up the street from our friends Shannon and Tony in Solana Beach.

This rascal ate one of my shoes.

One of the dogs was barely a year old--cute as a bug and just about as pesky. We took a lot of walks through the hilly neighborhood and down to the beach. 

The homeowners let us use their car, which came in handy when I needed to drive south about 30 minutes for the wedding rehearsal. As the officiant, my attendance was crucial. The wedding the next day was perfection. I couldn't have been happier for my sister--and to welcome Kristian into our family. We all took a ferry from downtown San Diego to Cornado for vows on the beach followed by two days of parties. 

Crystal & Kristian with their four kids.

A few days later, Dave headed back to Baja while I embarked on a self-made book tour--which he coined the Goddess Tour, since it featured a coven of remarkable women. I'd planned stops to visit friends all along the way, using flight credits that were about to expire.

The first event filled Shannon's north county San Diego home with energized people and an elaborate display of food, including cookies the color of the book's cover! After I spoke and read a few pages, one person asked: "How did you talk your husband into living a traveling life?" Truth is, I didn't have to convince him of anything. Our nomadic desires bloomed simultaneously. Pure luck, because when we first met, we were both working long hours. I couldn't have imagined the life we live now.

with Shannon and turquoise cookies

Next stop was San Jose, California, where I expected to pick up my box of books from Mark's house to take to Santa Cruz for my public reading. But...no box. The following day I had resigned myself to a book-less event when I received a call from Mark that the box had arrived. San Jose is at least 45 minutes away, and often longer when dealing with perilous Highway 17--so I thanked him but said he didn't need to come. However, minutes before we were to start, my savior walked through the door. 

Extra special delivery!

Another sweet moment involving that door was when four shiny people I'd met at a transformative retreat in Baja surprised me with their appearance. Can you tell how happy we are to be reunited?

Alex, Mike, Lisa, me & Julia--all aglow

Gratefully, we had a full house at the downtown public library for "Three Memoirs & Music." I'd put out a call on a memoir writers' online group, and Dena Moes & Andrea Ross--who also have connections to Santa Cruz--jumped in. As did my friend Sweeney's fantastic musical duo, Winterlark. 

The happy memoirists

My short time in the Bay Area included spending time with friends old and new--the former being this beloved crew:

Memorable times with my beloved Stacey, Kelly & Terry and their son.

--and the latter being Carla King who is also a traveling writer. Unlike me, though, she is mechanically inclined, as made clear in her wonderful motorcycle adventures memoir. She also teaches people how to self-publish.

The two traveling memoirists in Santa Cruz

An aside: I was introduced to Carla by my longtime amiga Cathy Miller. We recently co-authored a piece about working together on our books. Check it out here:

Cathy was indispensable in my writing of Wanderland

Next I flew to Tuscon, where Dana Killion--whom I'd connected with in the aforementioned online memoirist's group--had generously invited me (a stranger!) to stay a few days. She also recently released a memoir and hosted a book event in her gorgeous home, along with Taymar Pixleysmith, whom I'd met earlier in the year at the Todos Santos Writers Workshop.

with Dana and Taymar

Tucson apparently is some kind of vortex that attracts amazing women because my friend Kate Stern happened to be in town as well. One day to escape the heat, Taymar took us on a divine mountain hike.

Rose Lake in the Santa Catalina Mountains

Soon I arrived in Ashland, Oregon, where I was thrilled to hang out with my amiga Laurie in her new home and the town she loves. It was a joy-filled time, packed with theater and friends and wine-tasting and a weekend camping trip! Not to mention a book gathering at her house, and a talk-and-signing at downtown Bloomsbury Books. 

Talking about our wacky traveling life.

Magically, Barbara Kent--a longtime friend of my parents who makes an appearance in Wanderland--materialized in the bookstore! I was grateful she drove all the way up from Northern California, because as I say in the book, I love being around people who knew my parents.

With Barbara Kent

With Laurie & Tammy seeing the phenomenal Kinky Boots

Christening myself in the breath-taking (literally)
Rogue River on the camping trip 

For my last stop, I flew south to L.A. to spend a few days with my longtime friend Nancy, who pops up on many pages in Wanderland. I was glad that my L.A. book event never panned out because at this point in the whirlwind, my body wanted to slow down. We did a lot of hanging out and talking, our specialty. One day we went to the movies, hopping on the Barbie bandwagon (a fitting culmination of my Goddess Tour). 

Gort was in on the Barbie trend, too.

Another day had to be devoted to art, of course, since that's Nancy's love language. With her friend the playwright Jiggs Burgess and the novelist Janet Fitch (whom I'd met at the Todos Santos Writers Workshop), we lingered over multitudinous art at The Hammer and imbibed the quirky art collection at a private home & garden. 

Love me some artists & writers

By the way, if you have not yet read Janet's Russian Revolution "Marina" novels, do so immediately! We must have been talking about writing during our post-art lunch because our waiter asked us about our books. Oh, to stumble across a voracious appreciative reader. What a treat. Later he sent me this picture he took:

A reader's/my toes

I love that some men have been getting into the delightful Wanderland-toes-pics...which I have been receiving from readers. My publisher created this fun collage:

Many of these readers were traveling at the time!

When I finally landed back in Baja after a month, it felt delicious to see Dave. We'd never spent that much time apart. 

Writing this, I'm struck by the fortune of my life. Of course like everyone I've had my share of loss and pain--but at this moment I feel like those struggles are eclipsed by collaboration, friendship, and love. 

* *  *

PS: If you enjoyed Wanderland, I'll give you heart emojis for life if you'll review it on Amazon, B&N, and/or Goodreads. Reviews can be short & dulce :), such as these:

"This book will blast you off your recliner." 

"Wildly moving and poignant." 

"So well written. The details are delicious."

PSS: If you'd like a loving, supportive boost for your own creative life, come to Mexico in April 2024 for my co-hosted retreat: Re-Imagining Writing. There are only 3 single rooms remaining, and prices go up January 1, so save your space here. Consider coming with a friend to stay in a huge, luxurious 1100 SF apartment-room--and to share this inspiring, rejuvenating respite.

Beach front Prana del Mar,
where the retreat magic will happen!

Ten Year Anniversary of Nomadic Life--and a Book Birthday!

This month marks 10 years of the traveling life for Dave and me. Ten years since I signed my retirement papers at San Jose State University and we left Santa Cruz to live without a house for a year, just to see what would happen. 

We had no idea we were joining a movement of people who were embracing versions of the itinerant life. From retired full-time travelers to digital nomads to those deemed "location independent" to world-schoolers who take their kids along. 

Housesit = Petsit

We also hadn't yet discovered housesitting (click here). Or the little casita we'd end up buying in Baja. We hadn't known I'd have two major health crises that both would require surgery--and that instead of scaring us into stasis they'd fire us up to keep traveling. 

We hadn't known we'd befriend people all over the world. Or that we'd encounter wild animals on land and sea. We didn't know that we'd travel more as wanderers than strict planners, taking advantage of opportunities that floated our way.

I'd hoped but hadn't known for sure that my literary life would expand--that I'd teach writing workshops in Thailand and California, that I'd publish articles and four books, that we'd move to China where I'd teach Creative Writing at Guangxi University.

I'd suspected I'd write about this but didn't know in what way. First came Call It Wonder: An Odyssey of Love, Sex, Spirit, and Travel and then  Wanderland: Living the Traveling Life. Its birthday is TODAY! 

Wanderland is about housesitting and nomadic life and reflections on home, and it comes out at an interesting time--just as I've been thinking of Baja less as "home base" and more as "home."

We recently became Mexican residents, complete with driver's licenses and Baja plates on Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, our blue Subaru that has carried us along thousands of miles whenever we weren't in a plane, bus, boat, taxi, Uber, or tuk-tuk.

This doesn't mean we won't continue to housesit, explore, wander. I still love the feel of flying, of being unrooted. At the same time, we're intertwined with our community here, and I adore this area and our casita. I'm glad it's small because, as I write about in both books, living light has always appealed to me. 

Ten years has taught me a lot--especially that the world is mostly an inviting place, and that I'm more flexible and adaptable than I ever believed. 

When we left California ten years ago, I couldn't have imagined this life. Back then I had more of a feeling than a vision. A feeling of leaning into expansiveness. And while this life isn't perfect, it fits us well. 

You can order Wanderland: Living the Traveling Life from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, my publisher, or through any bookstore. See my other books at my website. 

11 Books That Touched My Life

Many books have touched my life. These are a few that have helped me better understand who I am, why I’m here and what I’m capable of.

These books opened up worlds to me that I didn’t know existed. Eyes may be windows into the soul—but so are books.

1) Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh.

Harriet rides her bike around, peeking in on her quirky neighbors and writing about them. She likes to wear jeans and her dad’s blocky glasses frames. Her best friend, a boy named Scout, wears an apron when he cooks for his widowed father. I first read this book at age eight. When I re-read it 30 years later, I saw many things I care about contained in its pages: the love of traveling and writing, the rejection of gender straight-jackets and the fascination with how other people do this thing we call living.

Favorite quote: “Life is a great mystery. Is everybody a different person when they are with someone else?”

2) The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury.

In seventh grade, my science teacher read to us every Friday from this book about humans colonizing Mars. While I may not have grasped the social criticism, I was bowled over by the gripping writing and by how the stories offered deep insights into life. That a book could give me (existential) goosebumps helped me internalize the power of the written word.

Favorite quote: “Why life? Life was its own answer. Life was the propagation of more life and the living of as good a life as possible.”

3) Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman.

I was in my twenties when I first encountered Whitman, whose work became my bible. He wrote about how we are connected to each other and all of nature, how the body is to be praised, how equality should be a given, and how what matters most is love in all its forms. His long, rhythmic lines crackle with life more than 150 years since they first appeared in print.

Favorite quote: “Do anything, but let it produce joy.”

4) Journal of Solitude by May Sarton.

At age 29, I sold everything I owned and moved alone to Japan to teach. There, I devoured all of Sarton’s soulful and insightful journals, starting with this one. I was spending a lot of time alone, and she helped me see how I didn’t have to be scared of solitude; alone, I could plumb my depths.

Favorite quote: “Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is richness of self.”

5) Wild Mind: Living the Writers’ Life by Natalie Goldberg.

With her pragmatic, soulful wit, Goldberg helped me free my inner creator. As a young expat living in Japan, I tried out her writing methods and turned myself over to my dream of being a writer.

Favorite quote: “Stress is basically a disconnection from the earth, a forgetting of the breath. Stress is an ignorant state. It believes everything is an emergency.”

6) When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron.

When I was going through a devastating divorce, a good friend gave me this book. My lifeline to sanity, Pema’s book was the start of my journey to better understand how to deal with suffering. I think I saved thousands of dollars in therapy bills by reading this book again and again.

Favorite quote: “If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.”

7) Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Life and Love from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed.

As I read this book, I found myself wishing over and over again I’d had it in my hands when I was younger. It just might have helped me change course—or at least be kinder to myself. Her advice and voice wrap their arms around you and help you stand up straight.

Favorite quote: “You will learn a lot about yourself if you stretch in the direction of goodness, of bigness, of kindness, of forgiveness, of emotional bravery. Be a warrior for love.”

The final four books fit in the category of “Badass Women.” All of these women overcame great odds to claim their power—and at some level, to change the world. These books ignited my inner flame so that I more deeply appreciated my freedom, my voice and my capacity to inspire and be inspired.

8) Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali.

In this memoir, a Somalian woman follows a harrowing and unlikely path and ultimately becomes a political figure in the Netherlands. In the face of death threats, she fearlessly champions free speech, women’s rights and the banning of female genital mutilation.

Favorite quote: “It takes a long time to dissolve the bars of a mental cage.” 

9) Champion of Choice: The Life and Legacy of Women’s Advocate Nafis Sadik by Cathleen Miller.

An incredibly inspirational example of a woman who has affected millions of lives. A Pakistani national, she bucked tradition and became a physician and eventually a leader of the U.N. population fund, fighting for women’s health and reproductive rights. Now in her 80s, she is still working to make the world a better place.

Favorite quote: “We must be courageous in speaking out on the issues that concern us… We will not allow ourselves to be silenced.”

10) She’s Not There: A Life in Two Genders by Jennifer Finney Boylan.

With humor and intelligence, Boylan tells the poignant story of her transition from Jim to Jenny. As with all the other “badass women” books, I developed new understandings and deeper compassion reading this.

Favorite quote: “As it turns out, we’re all still learning to be men, or women, all still learning to be ourselves.”

11) Half Broke Horses by Jeanette Walls.

This novel is based on the life of Jeanette’s extraordinary grandmother, Lila Casey Smith, who, at age 15, left home on a pony to ride 500 miles for a teaching job in a frontier town. She learned to fly a plane and ran a ranch in Arizona, surviving droughts, tornadoes, the Great Depression and personal tragedy. Like the other badass women, she stood up for the underdog and spoke out against injustice.

Favorite quote: “Nobody’s perfect. We’re all just one step up from the beasts and one step down from the angels.”

What’s a book that touched your life?

(This piece first appeared in Elephant Journal.)