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NOW! In an exclusive to this blog, Sarah Palin explains why she requested the following books be banned:
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner: "For a book about dying there's no prayer or heaven or hell! Or that's what I've been told by people who've read it."
Carrie by Stephen King: "I was disturbed by the cruel girls who dumped pig blood on Carrie because they were too much like me . . . I mean King is the anti-Christ."
Canterbury Tales by Chaucer: "People are fooled into thinking this book is a classic. It's just plain smutty, that's what it is!!! Or that's what I've been told by people who've read it."
Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite: "How dare they live in sin! Wait a minute, I don't believe in same-sex marriage. Um . . . ."
Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller: "See As I Lay Dying."
East of Eden by John Steinbeck: "While I like the idea that Eden has an East, which suggests Alaska is the Eden of the U.S., which it certainly is--the book is blasphemous because it's about Eden but contains no Adam and Eve. The movie wasn't too bad, though."
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling; Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling; Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling; Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling: "'Potter' sounds too much like 'potty.'"
Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain: "Huckleberry Finn broke the law by aiding a runaway slave! Do we want a felon to be a role-model for today's youth?"
James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl: "This book is totally inappropriate because it's about a young man obsessed with breasts. See: 'really love your peaches want to shake your tree.'"
Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman: "Two words: Homo-sexual."
Lysistrata by Aristophanes: "This very, very, very old play (not that I have anything against the aged) has two strikes against it: It's a woman's obligation to engage in intercourse with her husband whether she want to or not! And, I hear this play is anti-war."
My Friend Flicka by Mary O’Hara: "Horses should not be shot like they're moose or something!"
One Day in The Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn: "The public libraries are trying to undermine all American stands for by sneaking in books by foreign Russians."
One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey: "Jack Nicholson is not in it."
Our Bodies, Ourselves by Boston Women’s Health Collective: "Reading this will encourage teen out-of-wedlock pregnancy."
Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs: "This author neglected to include Creationism for fair and equal treatment."
The Color Purple by Alice Walker: "Even though I couldn't find it, I've been told there's lesbianism in here. And by black women to boot!"
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood: "Now, I'm really not against this book. I think it's an excellent vision for the future. I can't remember why I wanted to ban it, but I take it back."
To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee: "This book is as anti-Christian as they get. There's even a character named 'Boo.'"
Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary by the Merriam-Webster Editorial Staff: "Too many unnecessary words."
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7 comments:
Palin doesn't look like a reader to me. Maybe she flips through Guns & Ammo and Skin A Moose Quarterly, but classics...nah.
I like your blog but am disappointed that you are following the sheep on this one. Perhaps people should do a little more research before posting a blatant attack on someone based on heresay or a spurious e-mail forward. The Harry Potter books ween't even published when she was mayor.
http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/p/palin-banned-books.htm
Hmmmm..
I think Christine may not understand the idea of "satire."
Even if something is not THE letter-truth it exposes A truth!(in this case, that Ms. Palin believes in censoring what she believes someone should not read).
There's plenty to be scared of with Ms. Palin!
I suppose some truths are in the eye of the beholder. I get that it's satire, Lisa. Let's just agree to disagree. I'm not here to fight.
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