The Goddess Tour

I write this from an upstairs loft in a home in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. This is our last stop on a three-city visit to the mainland. We wanted to get to know Mexico better by spending a month in Mazatlan, a week in Guanajuato, and six weeks here. Housesitting has made this type of adventure possible.

In my next blog, I will write about my impressions. But first I'll back up and share how, before we flew to the mainland, we did a "staycation" sit in Baja at Los Barriles, a community on the Sea of Cortez, 90 minutes from our house at Cerritos.

Ready to go!

These three cuties are Sunny, Happy & Colorado. Each morning they'd jump into the fat-tired golf cart for a 5-minute ride to the beach. The water was so calm and warm, I'd also often a swim.

The mermaid doing a ballet leg in the Sea of Cortez

We also cared for Roberto, the tortoise, who lived in the bedroom closet and would wander out each day. I'd take him outside for a big plate of fresh fruits and veggies. And that's not all: there were three outdoor cats to care for (and feed raw food, a gross process that involved pulling apart and deboning by hand a bunch of butcher trimmings and entrails. Thank god Dave dealt with it because the process made me gag). 

Roberto

We normally don't take sits that involve so many pets, but being that this was close to home and in a great location for two weeks, we decided to jump in. We're glad we did because the beachy community was fun to explore in any of the three offroad vehicles.

A few weeks later, we flew to California for another housesit for two weeks so we could attend my sister Crystal's wedding. Housesitting came to the rescue again as we had a beautiful home to stay in that whole time, up the street from our friends Shannon and Tony in Solana Beach.

This rascal ate one of my shoes.

One of the dogs was barely a year old--cute as a bug and just about as pesky. We took a lot of walks through the hilly neighborhood and down to the beach. 

The homeowners let us use their car, which came in handy when I needed to drive south about 30 minutes for the wedding rehearsal. As the officiant, my attendance was crucial. The wedding the next day was perfection. I couldn't have been happier for my sister--and to welcome Kristian into our family. We all took a ferry from downtown San Diego to Cornado for vows on the beach followed by two days of parties. 

Crystal & Kristian with their four kids.

A few days later, Dave headed back to Baja while I embarked on a self-made book tour--which he coined the Goddess Tour, since it featured a coven of remarkable women. I'd planned stops to visit friends all along the way, using flight credits that were about to expire.

The first event filled Shannon's north county San Diego home with energized people and an elaborate display of food, including cookies the color of the book's cover! After I spoke and read a few pages, one person asked: "How did you talk your husband into living a traveling life?" Truth is, I didn't have to convince him of anything. Our nomadic desires bloomed simultaneously. Pure luck, because when we first met, we were both working long hours. I couldn't have imagined the life we live now.

with Shannon and turquoise cookies

Next stop was San Jose, California, where I expected to pick up my box of books from Mark's house to take to Santa Cruz for my public reading. But...no box. The following day I had resigned myself to a book-less event when I received a call from Mark that the box had arrived. San Jose is at least 45 minutes away, and often longer when dealing with perilous Highway 17--so I thanked him but said he didn't need to come. However, minutes before we were to start, my savior walked through the door. 

Extra special delivery!

Another sweet moment involving that door was when four shiny people I'd met at a transformative retreat in Baja surprised me with their appearance. Can you tell how happy we are to be reunited?

Alex, Mike, Lisa, me & Julia--all aglow

Gratefully, we had a full house at the downtown public library for "Three Memoirs & Music." I'd put out a call on a memoir writers' online group, and Dena Moes & Andrea Ross--who also have connections to Santa Cruz--jumped in. As did my friend Sweeney's fantastic musical duo, Winterlark. 

The happy memoirists

My short time in the Bay Area included spending time with friends old and new--the former being this beloved crew:

Memorable times with my beloved Stacey, Kelly & Terry and their son.

--and the latter being Carla King who is also a traveling writer. Unlike me, though, she is mechanically inclined, as made clear in her wonderful motorcycle adventures memoir. She also teaches people how to self-publish.

The two traveling memoirists in Santa Cruz

An aside: I was introduced to Carla by my longtime amiga Cathy Miller. We recently co-authored a piece about working together on our books. Check it out here:

Cathy was indispensable in my writing of Wanderland

Next I flew to Tuscon, where Dana Killion--whom I'd connected with in the aforementioned online memoirist's group--had generously invited me (a stranger!) to stay a few days. She also recently released a memoir and hosted a book event in her gorgeous home, along with Taymar Pixleysmith, whom I'd met earlier in the year at the Todos Santos Writers Workshop.

with Dana and Taymar

Tucson apparently is some kind of vortex that attracts amazing women because my friend Kate Stern happened to be in town as well. One day to escape the heat, Taymar took us on a divine mountain hike.

Rose Lake in the Santa Catalina Mountains

Soon I arrived in Ashland, Oregon, where I was thrilled to hang out with my amiga Laurie in her new home and the town she loves. It was a joy-filled time, packed with theater and friends and wine-tasting and a weekend camping trip! Not to mention a book gathering at her house, and a talk-and-signing at downtown Bloomsbury Books. 

Talking about our wacky traveling life.

Magically, Barbara Kent--a longtime friend of my parents who makes an appearance in Wanderland--materialized in the bookstore! I was grateful she drove all the way up from Northern California, because as I say in the book, I love being around people who knew my parents.

With Barbara Kent

With Laurie & Tammy seeing the phenomenal Kinky Boots

Christening myself in the breath-taking (literally)
Rogue River on the camping trip 

For my last stop, I flew south to L.A. to spend a few days with my longtime friend Nancy, who pops up on many pages in Wanderland. I was glad that my L.A. book event never panned out because at this point in the whirlwind, my body wanted to slow down. We did a lot of hanging out and talking, our specialty. One day we went to the movies, hopping on the Barbie bandwagon (a fitting culmination of my Goddess Tour). 

Gort was in on the Barbie trend, too.

Another day had to be devoted to art, of course, since that's Nancy's love language. With her friend the playwright Jiggs Burgess and the novelist Janet Fitch (whom I'd met at the Todos Santos Writers Workshop), we lingered over multitudinous art at The Hammer and imbibed the quirky art collection at a private home & garden. 

Love me some artists & writers

By the way, if you have not yet read Janet's Russian Revolution "Marina" novels, do so immediately! We must have been talking about writing during our post-art lunch because our waiter asked us about our books. Oh, to stumble across a voracious appreciative reader. What a treat. Later he sent me this picture he took:

A reader's/my toes

I love that some men have been getting into the delightful Wanderland-toes-pics...which I have been receiving from readers. My publisher created this fun collage:

Many of these readers were traveling at the time!

When I finally landed back in Baja after a month, it felt delicious to see Dave. We'd never spent that much time apart. 

Writing this, I'm struck by the fortune of my life. Of course like everyone I've had my share of loss and pain--but at this moment I feel like those struggles are eclipsed by collaboration, friendship, and love. 

* *  *

PS: If you enjoyed Wanderland, I'll give you heart emojis for life if you'll review it on Amazon, B&N, and/or Goodreads. Reviews can be short & dulce :), such as these:

"This book will blast you off your recliner." 

"Wildly moving and poignant." 

"So well written. The details are delicious."

PSS: If you'd like a loving, supportive boost for your own creative life, come to Mexico in April 2024 for my co-hosted retreat: Re-Imagining Writing. There are only 3 single rooms remaining, and prices go up January 1, so save your space here. Consider coming with a friend to stay in a huge, luxurious 1100 SF apartment-room--and to share this inspiring, rejuvenating respite.

Beach front Prana del Mar,
where the retreat magic will happen!

Ten Year Anniversary of Nomadic Life--and a Book Birthday!

This month marks 10 years of the traveling life for Dave and me. Ten years since I signed my retirement papers at San Jose State University and we left Santa Cruz to live without a house for a year, just to see what would happen. 

We had no idea we were joining a movement of people who were embracing versions of the itinerant life. From retired full-time travelers to digital nomads to those deemed "location independent" to world-schoolers who take their kids along. 

Housesit = Petsit

We also hadn't yet discovered housesitting (click here). Or the little casita we'd end up buying in Baja. We hadn't known I'd have two major health crises that both would require surgery--and that instead of scaring us into stasis they'd fire us up to keep traveling. 

We hadn't known we'd befriend people all over the world. Or that we'd encounter wild animals on land and sea. We didn't know that we'd travel more as wanderers than strict planners, taking advantage of opportunities that floated our way.

I'd hoped but hadn't known for sure that my literary life would expand--that I'd teach writing workshops in Thailand and California, that I'd publish articles and four books, that we'd move to China where I'd teach Creative Writing at Guangxi University.

I'd suspected I'd write about this but didn't know in what way. First came Call It Wonder: An Odyssey of Love, Sex, Spirit, and Travel and then  Wanderland: Living the Traveling Life. Its birthday is TODAY! 

Wanderland is about housesitting and nomadic life and reflections on home, and it comes out at an interesting time--just as I've been thinking of Baja less as "home base" and more as "home."

We recently became Mexican residents, complete with driver's licenses and Baja plates on Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, our blue Subaru that has carried us along thousands of miles whenever we weren't in a plane, bus, boat, taxi, Uber, or tuk-tuk.

This doesn't mean we won't continue to housesit, explore, wander. I still love the feel of flying, of being unrooted. At the same time, we're intertwined with our community here, and I adore this area and our casita. I'm glad it's small because, as I write about in both books, living light has always appealed to me. 

Ten years has taught me a lot--especially that the world is mostly an inviting place, and that I'm more flexible and adaptable than I ever believed. 

When we left California ten years ago, I couldn't have imagined this life. Back then I had more of a feeling than a vision. A feeling of leaning into expansiveness. And while this life isn't perfect, it fits us well. 

You can order Wanderland: Living the Traveling Life from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, my publisher, or through any bookstore. See my other books at my website. 

It's Never Too Late: Debut Author at 76

 

Lareida Buckley and I met three years ago on the Big Island of Hawaii when I was housesitting for her neighbor. 

On a stroll with several of her woman friends, Lareida mentioned she was curious about my work as a writer and editor. I asked her if she, too, wrote—and when she said yes, her friends turned to her in surprise saying, “You do?” 

Lareida explained that for years she’d been working on a story collection based on her small-town Texas upbringing. Her father had been the sheriff and her family lived next door to the jail. “I want to finish it. I’m not getting any younger,” she’d said in her soft Texas twang. 

Later, she sent me some pages, and I immediately knew her voice had to be out in the world. Filled with passion for a project I believed in, I supported her in finishing and submitting the manuscript—and now Stories From the Sherriff’s Daughter, has come out TCU Press, making Lareida a debut author at age 76. 

I decided to interview her to share her story with the world.

 

How long were you working on your stories, and why didn’t your walking group friends know?

I always wrote stories, ever since college. About twenty years ago I wrote more seriously and put these stories together as a collection while participating in a very informal writing group, just for fun. I toyed with making it into a novel, tried making the voice reflect the narrator’s age, and other false starts. Life intervened, and I set the project aside for years. Though when I met you I’d finished what I thought was a pretty good rewrite, I hadn’t shared the stories with anyone except a few close friends in many years. When I got the book deal, friends and family alike were amazed. Me too.  

 

These stories are autobiographical in that you grew up the daughter of a sheriff in small-town Texas and lived in a house attached to the jail. Why did you decide to write this as fiction rather than memoir?

When I started these stories, I’d been gone from Texas for many years. It had been a long time since my father had passed away, so I felt I couldn’t write a memoir at that distance, both in time and place, and do it justice. Also, taking situations and people that I remembered, making them fictional and more interesting, was way more fun. I could add excitement or humor where there might have been none. I could try to bring my childhood to life. Creativity was the draw for fiction.

 

In the book, the narrator, Dolly, starts out as a nine-year-old girl and we see her grow up living next to the jail. How do you think Dolly’s life would have been different if her mother had had her way and moved the family away from the jail permanently?

Her life would have been dramatically different. Though people coming to the door with terrible calamities and tragedies became normal to her, and me, it still affected us all to one extent or another, making us into more compassionate and caring people. Had she moved out, as her mother wished and even tried to accomplish during those early years, Dolly would have missed out on contact with people of all races and all walks of life, as well as the appreciation of how hard life can be.

 

The book has a wide array of colorful characters. How were you able to write about so many different people richly and authentically?

To say there were colorful characters around the jail is an understatement. I could often describe on the page the characters exactly as they were in real life, could have them act exactly as they did. Real people living real life adversity—and the people who tried to help them—made for authentically colorful characters I could portray honestly.

 

You do a beautiful job in the book of dealing with both humor and tragedy. Was it your intent to grapple with both? If so, why was that important to you?

Actually, the tragedy was more obvious, and it stood out more clearly in my memory, making it easy to write. Humor is how I’ve dealt with difficulties in my own life. It was simply a part growing up and came naturally in my writing. I especially used the grandmother to add humor throughout the stories.

 

Was your real-life grandmother funny?

Some of her jokes and snarky comments were really my own or others, but I enjoyed the persona she took on as the stories progressed. I imagined she would have, too. 

 

I was moved by the loving relationship Dolly has with her parents. How are they similar to or different from your own parents?

That relationship was easy to write about because it was absolutely real. Busy and absorbed with law enforcement as they were, they were wonderful and loving parents in the midst of all that.

 

Why did your father want to be sheriff? And is it true, as in the book, that your mother later became sheriff herself?

I’m not sure if he wanted to be sheriff. He was a kindhearted man, involved in community activities and helping people through various organizations, like the church, and the Masonic Lodge long before he became sheriff.  Perhaps he saw it as a way of making that work a true vocation. He’d been a dairy farmer, and the dairy business was changing with pasteurization, milking machines, and other modernizations that might have been beyond his means. His visits back to the dairy farm on a regular basis, and how important those visits were, always made me wonder why he’d moved on to law enforcement. I tried to show that dichotomy in the stories. And he was never the stereotypical gun-toting authoritarian Southern sheriff you might picture. He was a quiet man who in his years as sheriff never fired his gun. My mother took the job because she didn’t know what else to do when my father died, but she was never the typical sheriff either. Her gun was never fired either.

 

Was it true that the boys you dated were more entranced by your dad the sheriff than by you?

Some definitely were! It’s absolutely true that years after relationships were over, several old boyfriends would keep coming by to see him, ride around with him on patrol, even when I was away at school. It became a family joke.

 

As a white Southerner, how did you address racial issues in this book?  Did you find this difficult, and if so, how and why?

We must have been a liberal family for that time, though I don’t think I thought about it then. It was all I knew. But I say in the book, and I felt it to be true in our years in the jail, that race didn’t determine character, and there were good and bad people, black and white. Also, we had much more contact with black people than most families ever did during those segregated years. Not only with black prisoners, but with their families, lawyers, teachers and preachers. I tried in the book to show that racism was definitely there, but not as much in evidence in our family or around the jail. It seems unbelievable, but I remember there being two water fountains in the courthouse basement, one labeled for whites and one labeled for coloreds. In my lifetime! With that sort of thing surrounding my formative years, I worried that I might not be able to treat those issues with the respect the people of that era deserved, so I tried to take care with it. I can only hope that I didn’t offend anyone.

 

How was it that you were able to finally finish the book after all these years? What was it like getting the manuscript ready to send out?

I have a lifelong friend who took my stories more seriously than I did. She encouraged me, bullied me, made me finish them. I’ve read that writing is really revision, and these stories were revised so many times, I think making them better in the end. The fact that I’d just done a massive rewrite with my friend’s encouragement right before I met you was serendipity, and then your edit was the final powerful push. I was finally, to the extent an author ever is, satisfied with the work, and was preparing for a long process of submissions and maybe even self-publishing.

 

What would you like people to know about getting your first book published in your seventies?

Over the years, I kind of thought of myself as a writer, even though in my real life I had a country mail route along the ocean in Hawaii. I even had business cards made once. Lareida Buckley, Writer. Actually, Reader would have been more accurate. I listened to literally thousands of books over my 25 years on the mail route. My sage advice, from the vantage point of 76 years, is don’t give up on a dream. I’m a prime example. I’m Lareida Buckley, Writer. It really is never too late.

The Web of Connection

I'm practically in a tizzy over the beauty of my book cover!
Wanderland is coming June 1. 

One of the themes of my new book is the Web of Connection we've woven as we've traveled around the world. 

We meet other travelers. And those who are rooted. We connect with friends old and new. I hadn't realized when we started living this itinerant life how many *people* would enliven our path.

We belong to a number of online traveling groups, and it's strangely wonderful to meet up in real life. For instance, two couples (Amber & Greg and Diana & Mike) happened to be in the Bay Area on our most recent visit. Our robust, chatty, online relationships easily transferred to physical presence.

with Amber & Greg, who were Bay Area housesitting
after a Christmas in Amsterdam 

Mike and Diana write about their traveling lifestyle here. 

We met another traveling couple during our Oahu housesit. Brooke is also a writer whose books I'd read. Turns out they were living a block from where we were staying! They showed us some of their favorite spots, and we talked about one of the best nomadic topics: how living in unconventional ways makes life extra juicy.

Buddy and Brooke were wonderful tour guides.

Kuli'ou'ou Beach Park at sunset...
an example of Dave's wonderful photography

Another online-to-IRL experience came when we met up with Yvonne and Michael, a nomadic couple stopping off in Oahu on their way to S.E. Asia. 

With Michael & Yvonne at the Outrigger Reef Waikiki Resort

Our Hawaii housesit came about through Nadia, a woman we met in Baja years ago. We reconnected with her and her family in Thailand--and then after she moved to Hawaii, she asked us to housesit. Talk about a web.

loved our housesit view

Also nearby on Oahu lives a high school friend I hadn't seen in nearly 40 years. We had a sweet time with Cheryl and Gene, eating meals together, going on a stunning hike, and spending a day on their boat.

Hike to the top of the pali

Kayaking, Cheryl & I gossiped about our high school days.

Captains Gene & Dave

My signature synchronized swimming move at Kaneohe San Bar

Another longtime friend, Candis, also lives on the island. One night we had dinner made with fresh produce from her garden, follow by a jam session with two mandolins, a guitar, my uke, and a stand-up bass.

Jamming

Turned out that Sarah and Jimmy, whom we'd met in Panama while they were also housesitting, were coming through Oahu! We hiked the Makapu'u Lighthouse trail and spent relaxing time at Waimanalo Beach. It was a little surreal seeing them after having just hung out in the Panamanian jungle. 

Fun with Sarah at Alan Davis beach

Jimmy

Byodo-In Temple

On our swing back through the (brrr...cold!) Bay Area enroute to Baja, we luckily were able to see old friends. 

Brunch with Kelly and Daisy

Hiking with Roger and Marilen

Ah, it felt great to be back in Baja. But I didn't get to slow down for long because I'd enrolled in the Todos Santos Writers Workshop, expressly to work with Janet Fitch, whose writing I deeply admire. (My god, if you haven't read her latest two books about the Russian revolution, do so now!) Keeping with the web-of-connection theme, my good friend Stacey knows Janet and told me what a great teacher she is--which proved to be true.

Janet Fitch and husband, the writer Andrew Nicholls

Here's what working with Janet did to my manuscript that I thought was finished:

And Janet is the one who came up with Wanderland as my title. When such a great writer who has been an Oprah pick and has sold millions of books makes such a suggestion, I listen!

And the webby theme continues: My friend Lisa, whom I hadn't seen in about thirty years, happened to attend the workshop as well. Being with her, the prism of years made me feel thirty and sixty. It was as though our hearts had been connected all this time.

On Cerritos Beach with Lisa and Andrew

Funny that I'm publishing a new book that explores the question, "What is home?" at the very time I'm starting to feel like Baja is home. We finally completed the process of becoming residents--which means we don't have to leave every 180 days. Even our blue Subaru, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, now has Baja plates.

residence card

Not that we won't be continuing to travel and weave our web. But there's something about being here this time that feels...settling. In a good way. As though nine years in, my heart knows that no matter where I go, our Mexico nest awaits.

Happy 2023: The Year of No Improving!

San Pedrito Beach, Baja California Sur, Mexico

In 2022: 

We did 11 housesits in 3 countries (including 3 U.S. states). 

Along the way we took care of:

15 dogs

3 cats

and 1 guinea pig

I finished writing my book about our itinerant life (title still in flux) and am hoping 2023 gifts me a publisher! In the meantime, you can read an excerpt that appeared in HuffPost. The piece makes clear that our lifestyle isn't all champagne and roses.

You can also watch this interview with Dave and me about housesitting all over the world. 

Also, a piece I wrote about housesitting in Mexico appeared in House Sitting Magazine. 

landing in Baja

We had one flight cancellation...our first in nearly a decade of nomadic living. Our flight out of Panama was cancelled. After a debacle of waiting for hours for our luggage and organizing all the passengers, American Airlines redeemed itself by putting us up in an all-inclusive resort for the night, including food and fancy rooms. They put us up in a crappy room the next night in Miami, but they paid so we couldn't complain (much). 

It felt amazing to return to Baja and to our home. We hadn't lived in it for two years, so we had a lot of projects facing us, but we took them poco a poco. The area has exploded with construction so there's definitely more people and noise--and we lost our slice-of-ocean view. 

Day of the Dead in Todos Santos

But we still have a nice view of the hills and there are also more restaurants and activities. We saw a great outdoor production of A Midsummer Night's Dream, went to a music festival, attended the consecration of a Buddhist stupa and enjoyed a fantastic Day of the Dead celebration. We were happy to reconnect with our community and had a wonderful visit from our friend Nicole.

With Nicole on our rooftop

In the meantime I turned the epic age of 60. Especially after facing two major health crises in my fifties, I was grateful to be alive. But I kept seeing ads and articles for getting rid of wrinkles, for getting thin after menopause--voices that insist that "60 is the new 18!" or whatever. 

And I thought NO. Just NO. 

I'm grateful to be 60. Too much of my life has been taken up with thinking that my body should be different than it is. So I decided that at age 60, I'm letting go of body shame and the toxic diet culture mindset (often wrapped in a pretty bow of "wellness") run by those who cash in on making us feel badly about ourselves and keep us on the "never good enough" treadmill. 

Pema Chodron says that constantly focusing on improving is a violence to the self.

Besides, aging isn't a disease or a problem. It's a privilege.

This leads me to my mantra for my sixties: NO RULES! I want to live improvisationally, allowing whatever is in front of me to inspire me to act rather than deciding in advance what I should/shouldn't do. 

I'm inviting in joy, relaxation, nature, naps, ambiguity, softening, reading, music, peace, creativity, humor, true connection with others, surrender and being here now. 

Speaking of reading, I read 65 books in 2022 (see my reviews here) and am constantly grateful for those who tell their stories.

Shannon, Anne, Laurie, Nancy & me

To celebrate my new decade, four amazing women joined me in Cabo for a week at a wellness retreat center. I know each one from a different part of my life; together we created a colorful mosaic of friendship. I ended our time together floating on a cloud of love.

Walking on Cerritos Beach with Deva, our neighbor's dog.

I think my sixties are going to be cool. Is it a cliche that I started playing Pickleball and went to my first Zumba class? I'm not sure if I'll continue on with either one regularly. No rules, remember? I'll decide each day, sometimes each moment, how I want to spend my living time.

Me with Mom, 60 years ago

The actual day of my birthday in November we spent with my sister and some friends at her new, gorgeous house in Todos Santos. The food (especially my sister's homemade carrot cake) and company were great, as was the music jam: three guitars and my uke.

Hawaii housesit view from the lanai.

We left Mexico after two months to housesit in Hawaii. So we will be ringing in the new year in aloha spirit. But after this we are headed back to Baja to settle in for a while. 

Happy New Year to all. Here's a Tibetan Buddhist Blessing that I send to everyone:

May you be filled with loving kindness. 

May you be well. 

May you be peaceful and at ease. 

May you be happy.