Guaranteed Rejection

If you aren't rejected enough as a poet, submit to The Futility Review to guarantee rejection.

Their Mission Statement: We are dedicated to the non-publication of the best works of the best poets in the English-speaking world. We value diversity and strive to include new voices in our evaluation process. Our goal is to provide a non-venue for all kinds of poetry and avoid the labeling of differing aesthetics. We eschew poetry politics and never let personal relationships enter into our decisions. The bedrock principle of The Futility Review is that any poet, no matter whether accomplished or beginning, will be rejected in the same open-handed manner.

Check out it out here--and don't neglect the links (especially the submission guidelines), which are hilarious.